


All I Want (Is You)

by adamwhatareyouevendoing



Category: Casualty (TV)
Genre: Episode Related, Fix-It, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-08 04:42:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8830825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adamwhatareyouevendoing/pseuds/adamwhatareyouevendoing
Summary: The first words out of Dylan’s mouth are, “You did well today.” Fix-it for Dylan and Seb's final scene in Episode 15: Bah Humbug.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I had been hoping for more from this episode, so I made an attempt to fix-it!
> 
> Also, I don't think I'll ever be able to listen to 'All I Want for Christmas Is You' without thinking of them.

When Seb turns to find Dylan entering the staff room, shutting the door behind him, it’s so reminiscent of the day before that he automatically flinches. _How has it only been a day?!_ So much has changed. Yesterday, he had pulled Dylan in for a hug. If he tried that today, he wouldn’t be surprised if he was punched.

Unlike yesterday though, Dylan’s expression is not sympathetic. When they’d lost Carly, it had not been his fault, no matter how much Seb will regret her death. Today, despite all the good work he’s done, Seb knows if they’d lost Toby it would have been his fault.

He is not looking for forgiveness and is therefore surprised when the first words out of Dylan’s mouth are, “You did well today.” The shock must show on his face because Dylan quickly adds, “There’s still improvement needed.” But even his stern look can’t put a dint in Seb’s elation at the lack of a reprimand.

“I know,” he says gratefully, “and I will keep getting better, I promise.” Dylan nods, as though at least he believes in that. “And, I know you said not to talk about it, but I am sorry about last night. I was drunk and upset and you were kind to me. I’m sorry that I got it wrong.” He says the last bit in a rush so that Dylan can’t interrupt him.

Dylan looks torn, as though he is weighing up whether it’d be easier to try and make an escape from the staff room, or stay and have the conversation he’d clearly wanted to avoid. Seb isn't certain what decides it, but Dylan finally stops looking at the floor and meets his eyes.

“Apology accepted.” And then, in some form of Christmas miracle, he says: “But, contrary to what you may think—understandable of course, given my reaction—I didn’t reject you because I don’t like you.” Seb is ready to hit the floor in shock. “I told you I believed in you, and I meant it.”

“No one has ever said that to me before,” Seb confesses quietly.

Dylan’s mouth twists to show that he’s heard the words, but he continues what he was saying before Seb’s admission. “And when you asked if I cared about you, I nodded.” Seb remembers; he will never be able to forget that moment. “I do care, Seb. I care about you achieving what you want to achieve. I want you to be proud of yourself, rather than trying to make your father proud. In my experience, that’s a futile endeavour.”

His expression makes Seb want to reach out and console him. He hadn’t realised that he and Dylan had their fathers’ disappointment in common. He doesn’t though, no matter how much he might want to. “You help me to be proud of myself,” he admits. “But I still want to try. If I pass, then maybe he will be. If he’s not, I’ll leave it. Perhaps it’s enough that you believe in me.”

“Is that what you want from me, Seb? Someone who will push you when you need it, be proud of you when you deserve it, and believe in you regardless?”

“That would be enough,” Seb says quietly. He drops his eyes to the floor, unable to look at Dylan in case he can read the truth in his eyes.

“Is that all though? I need to be certain what you’re asking for.”

He doesn’t know why Dylan is continuing to press this. The humiliation from last night was painful enough; a further rejection now he’s sober would be more than he could take. “You made it pretty clear last night that what I want isn’t gonna happen,” he bites out, still stung.

Dylan is quiet for a moment, yet Seb still doesn’t dare to look up. “I already told you that my reaction wasn’t because I don’t like you. Perhaps I should have clarified. I stopped you from kissing me because I didn’t want to take advantage of you, not because I didn’t want you to.”

If Seb had nearly fallen to the floor with shock earlier, he’s more than ready to hit the ground now. His eyes lock with Dylan’s. “You, you—” he stutters inarticulately; takes a breath to steady himself. “You wouldn’t have been taking advantage of me.”

“Yes, I would. You seem to remember last night clearly so I suppose you weren’t as drunk as I assumed, but you were still vulnerable.” Seb can’t dispute that. “And I am still your mentor,” Dylan adds. “It wouldn’t have been appropriate.”

Seb nods in understanding, then gives Dylan a cheeky smile. “You won’t be my mentor for much longer.”

Dylan seems to take the jest with the good intention with which it was made. “Quite,” he smiles. “Focus on passing first, then, we’ll see.”

Suddenly, things don’t seem quite so hopeless.

 


End file.
